You are in the grocery store and Little Junior will not stop running down the aisles taking items off from the shelves. You decide to pick him up and have him sit in your shopping cart instead to keep him intact. This works for awhile, until he starts throwing your cart’s contents on the floor. Embarrassed, you reach over and hand him a lollipop near the checkout counter to keep him quiet. Sure, he quiets down — but what are you teaching him? This scenario is common for a lot of parents — giving their child what they want to get them to quiet down and “behave”. We know this is probably not your first choice in how to do things, so we are going to give you a little hand. Ever heard of positive parenting? It is a great parenting tactic to use to attempt to empower your children in a positive way despite certain circumstances (and it does not include rewarding them straightaway for misbehaving).
Wait till you have a few moments to yourself, and get ready to learn about this effective and useful parenting technique!
The Benefits of Positive Parenting
Before we go over some techniques for positive parenting, let’s take a look at the benefits that it has to offer you and your child.
- Strong Relationships: There is no doubt that positive parenting aims to develop a strong parent-child relationship in the home. Instead of putting the focus on you as a parent and making it look like you are their enemy, positive parenting will focus on the child bettering him or herself.
- Understanding Feelings: When you bring feelings into the equation by telling your child how something makes you, or someone else feel, you are letting them become more aware of how their actions impact someone else. This is likely to help them not repeat the behavior and understand the influence that their actions have on others and yourself.
- Reduce power Struggle: Children love to test your power, and positive parenting can reduce their desire to struggle for power with you. Positive parenting will not undermine your relationship with your child and it will not make them feel negative about themselves.
- Reduce Misbehavior: If you set limits with your children through positive parenting, they will effectively obtain the idea of treating others the way that they are treated. Treat your child in a positive way, and they will react positively.
Steps Towards Positive Parenting
Now, let’s get into how we can achieve these wonderful benefits of positive parenting!
- Be Positive: Being positive towards your child is a great way to create a happy and influential atmosphere for them. Also, they will learn by example and become more positive themselves. Negative-Nancys will only teach children how to be pessimistic and grumpy. Parenting requires a good attitude, and a positive attitude is the best kind of attitude that you can display.
- Empower: A lot of parents have trouble empowering their children, not because they do not want to, but because it can seem overwhelming and nerve wracking to give your child the power to make his or her decisions (even when they are older!). However, by letting you child make positive decisions, they will learn responsibility and how to be accountable for their actions. Likewise, if they make bad decisions, they will learn that that they have to deal with the consequences of their choices.
- Give Confidence: A lot of parents think that making children seem like they are not up to par will encourage them to work harder. Positive parenting tells parents to demonstrate and show their children how much they believe in them. No matter what age you are –doesn’t it feel good when someone tells you that they believe in you? It usually helps you work harder! By letting your children know on a daily basis that they can do anything they set their minds to, you will be supporting your child’s dreams, behaviors, and actions. Because of this, they will want to act positively and constructively to demonstrate what they are capable of.
- Encourage Individuality: Especially when children are growing up, they have a tendency to pick up behaviors from other kids or want to do things because their friends are doing them. However, these actions and behaviors might not always be right, or what your child actually wants to do. By encouraging individuality in your home, you will be allow your child to think for themselves, make decisions for him or herself, and express their own individual opinions. This can also help develop and strengthen your child’s self esteem and their perception of themselves.
- Love: When children behave badly, it is easy to show them anger, frustration, and disappointed rather than love. However, positive parenting will show your child that you will love and support them no matter what they do. And, although you would not think so, this will encourage children to act positively in the future – even if they slip up and do something negative. Remember that love empowers as well.
- Food: It might seem like this is off-topic, but children have growing and developing bodies that appear to be changing every day when they are younger. By feeding your child healthy and nutritious food, you will be empowering their minds and bodies in a positive way. If you stuff your child with junk and sugar, you are setting them up for a crash a burn.
- Balance: Positive parenting is not an all-or-nothing technique. Being a positive parent means that you show your child how to practice moderation. Your child will eventually come across situations in their life where they want more of what they can have. Try to reduce feelings of greed or access right now by demonstrating self-regulation. Of course, a treat is wonderful every once in awhile, but not multiple times a day.
- Communicate: They key to any successful relationship is communication. As a positive parent, be sure to become an active presence in your child’s life. Get to know their teachers, friends, and their parent’s friends to demonstrate to them that you have care and interest in their daily activities. Also, be sure to spend time with your child one and one, and with other family members. Always ask your child about their day, how they feel, and help them talk through any concerns or issues that they might have.
Some Final Tips
As you begin with positive parenting, here are some tips to keep in mind as a parent.
- When your child exhibits a certain behavior, it is important as a parent to understand why they might have done or said a certain thing. By taking time to think about this, you can tailor your positive parenting to suit their needs.
- Pay attention to controlling yourself and not your child. It can be easy as a parent to want to control your child, especially if they misbehave, but keeping yourself controlled, cool, and calm in certain situations will be most effective.
- Be consistent with the behavior that you expect from your child.
- Use positive words and do not let “No” or “Don’t” become too much a part of your vocabulary with your children.
- You might want to offer your child something to get them to change their behavior, but keep away from bribery. This will only encourage children to test your limits.
Reap The Benefits
Positive parenting is a unique and effective system that will benefit both children and parents in the long-term. Be sure to check out Udemy’s wonderful online courses on any parenting issues you need to address, and soon enough you will be breezing through the grocery store with Little Junior with no problems at all!