People say a lot of things about love. Love is blind. Love is true. Love happens when you least expect it. But for all the centuries of wisdom and insights about love, it can be remarkably elusive. These days, we know there’s only one real truth when it comes to love: the more you give, the more you get. If you’re keen to use the Law of Attraction to find your soul mate, change your thinking to speed up your chances of meeting the cherry on your sundae.
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction is the idea that positive thoughts bring about positive outcomes and negative thoughts bring about negative ones. For centuries, philosophers, industrialists and powerful folks in general have recognized that attitude is an essential component of success. You’ve heard the famous quotes before:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Henry Ford.
“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” Zac Ziglar.
“Reap what you sow.”
“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.” Richard Bach.
“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.” David O’McKay.
And there’s heaps more where that came from.
The idea that your mindset affects your chances of success isn’t new. If you’ve gotten into a negativity rut, jumpstart your positive thinking with a course that’ll help you make the most out of a positive mind.
Ever wonder how the modest looking lady attracts the hottest guy in the crowd? The secret is simple: confidence. No matter what you see staring back at you in the mirror, the number one thing that both men and women find most attractive is someone who is confident. If self-doubt is something you struggle with, save the twenty bucks from your tube of fancy hair wax, and put it towards this five-star course that transforms doubt into swagger. Start now by sitting up straight and making sure your wardrobe says, “I’m doing something meaningful today.” Smile and make eye contact. Physiology makes a big difference in your psychology. So make sure your body is saying “I’m somebody to be reckoned with.” If you’re feeling unsure, make a list of the things you do well and another one of all the things you like about yourself. If you can use your talents to help someone else, do it. It’s a great reminder that you’ve got goods to share. Remember that trophy you got when you were ten? Remember how it made you feel? Be that person today, starting now.
When you’re applying the Law of Attraction to love, you know it’s essential to invest in yourself in order to achieve positive outcomes. The more you put in, the more you get out. Take a hard look at yourself. If you feel like your appearance is holding you back, consider learning How to Apply Makeup Like a Pro or check out Marie Claire’s Beauty Genius Tips. If you’ve lost some of your witty sparkle, get it back with a course designed to Supercharge Your Charisma. If you want a more substantial overhaul, take a course from a genuine life coach like Success on Anything or get some quick Weight Loss Hacks to put yourself on the path to true love. Remember, if you want someone to love you, you have to love yourself first and that means cultivating the you you want to be.
Online Dating—Algorithms for Happiness
These days, the dating world is complicated. Even the online dating sites that use algorithms to help us meet our match, don’t necessarily lead to success. If you want to succeed in the virtual dating world, give yourself an edge with some dating hacks that can put you at the top of everyone’s list. In the meantime, here are a few tips for making the most of your online presence:
- Most of the time it’s hard to glean genuine personality from a website, so the least you should do is post your absolute best photo.
- Since your profile has to speak for you, make sure it’s saying the right things. Is your virtual self coming across as a Debbie Downer that sounds jaded? That’s not likely to get many hits. Use aspirational language that shows you’re a future-focused, beach-walk lover who’s passionate about cheese—or something, if Manchego’s not your bag.
- If you can be funny, genuinely funny, do it. Have a friend check yourself before your wreck yourself—just in case.
- Don’t pigeonhole yourself by putting a movie you love above potential mates. Unless it really is a deal-breaker that your partner loves Fight Club or War and Peace as much as you do, leave that stuff out of your profile. (If that kind of thing is your deal-breaker, get help.) Most long term couples just learn to hate their spouses entertainment choices over time. It’s something to look forward to in your own marriage.
- If your mate has to be a fellow bible-thumper, be sure you’re registered at the right selective sites that are designed for particular groups. If you’re already there, consider casting your net a bit wider. Your spouse may be your first convert.
- (PS. You may be noticing a theme here: there’s no point in placing limits on who can be the cranberry in your vodka. Being open isn’t settling for less than the best—it’s just acknowledging that people are infinitely complex and can’t be boxed in by rigid rules. PPS. This isn’t actually a post script. Now onto the next point.)
- Keep some things a mystery. Yay or nay on legalizing pot? It doesn’t matter when it comes to your profile. Keep your opinions to yourself to avoid polarizing your audience. I know a couple (Hi, mom. Hi, Dad.) who vote on opposite ends of the political scale every election. They’re still going strong thirty-five years in. At the same time, hold back on boasting about your long list of accolades. In writing we call it showing versus telling. Show them you’re awesomesauce. Don’t say so.
- Take your time. There’s also no need to reply immediately to a message. They’ll know you’re interested if you do so within a day. Looking overeager can backfire.
- For more, check out this class to get the secrets of online dating success.
The Soul-Mate Marketplace
Online dating isn’t for everyone. If you prefer the old fashioned boy meets girl scenario, you should know that now that everyone uses their phone or iPad as a constant companion, your chances of chatting up someone on the bus are close to nil. Instead, check out this class on How to Get Dates by Being Awesome, and head to your local Whole Foods to show off your charismatic mojo to your local pool of earth-loving, liberal leaning, well-educated up-and-comers. Nothing says sexy like a guy who knows his way around a cantaloupe. If she doesn’t swoon when she hears you whisper “kohlrabi carpaccio,” she’s dead inside. But seriously, if all this veggie talk isn’t your forte, check out this course on how to Talk to Women. Once you’re ready to practice your new skills, don’t be afraid to ask the stranger in front of you at the checkout for a date. Even if you get shot down, at least you still have your organic avocado to keep you company on those winter nights.
Gratitude is a key element in the Law of Attraction. When you take the time to count your blessings, it’s easy to see that your life is probably better than you thought. If you’ve gotten complacent about all the good stuff in your life, check out this course on the Power of Gratitude to help you get some perspective. And never forget that the biggest blessing in your life is you.
Get Out to Get on the Love Train
More often than not, the people who get the good stuff are the people who work for it. To quote Brittany Spears, “You wanna hot body? You wanna Bugatti? You wanna Maserati? You better work bleep.” So the question is: have you been working at love or waiting for it to find you? If you’re sitting on the couch eating potatoes chips and watching Game of Thrones, Cupid’s got his work cut out. Put yourself out there. If you feel like a fish out of water at the local pub, tune into the body language of people around you. If you see some dude with mad game, take notes. What does he do? What does he say? How does he carry himself? Take some inspiration from folks that you think are tops, but don’t let it overwhelm your own mojo. The world isn’t complete without the “voodoo that you do so well.” Go on, now. Shoop!
At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction applies to love the way it applies to anything else. The more you put in the more you get out. It’s not always easy to cultivate a happy, positive, energetic mindset, but the good stuff always takes effort. Love is the same. Love in the modern age is more complicated than ever, but there are also tons of resources available to help you be your best self. From Hacking Happiness to Getting Rid of Emotional Baggage to Better Sex, there’s always something we can do to be a better mate. You are your own ticket to success. Don’t do it for them, do it for you.