ISTJ Relationships: Seducing the Strategist

istj relationshipsOne of the most important factors in every interaction you’ll find yourself in is the personality of you and the personality of who you’re talking to. If they are congruent, the interaction is likely to go smoothly; however, if they happen to clash, it’s likely the conversation will turn sour soon enough. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator presents sixteen key personality types that are selected for an individual after he or she has answered a series of questions. In the sections below, we will discuss the personality and various advantages and disadvantages of engaging in a romantic relationship with an ISTJ type, as well as their role in friendships.

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Personality

The ISTJ Personality Type is the most prevalent type to be received by those who take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator examination. It represents a group of people who are very keen on analysis of surroundings and observation over ideology. They tend to struggle comprehending areas the fall into the category of “theory” and will often shy away from philosophical discussion. However, if they can represent that theory or idea in a concrete manner, they are unstoppable when it comes to implementing potential solutions.

As introverts, ISTJ types have a tendency to spend a great deal of time on their own. While they are fully capable of working in a group of people, their best work is done when they are expected to handle their own projects. They’re often misjudged as cold and calloused towards their coworkers and friends, typically giving off the impression that they do not care what the acquaintance is saying. However, this can be explained as their reserved side coming to play and holds no truth with regards to personality.

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Advantages of Dating an ISTJ Type

Dating an ISTJ type can be a great deal of fun because ISTJs exhibit quite a few characteristics that make them great significant others, including:

  • Jack-of-all-trades. ISTJs often attain knowledge in a wide variety of areas, so it’s likely that once one becomes romantically involved, he or she will be fascinated to know all about the new person.
  • Strong willed. ISTJs take obligations very seriously and will respond to the needs of their significant other with loyalty and urgency.
  • Responsible. ISTJs take pride in the fact that they always admit fault when necessary; they also take a promise as almost written contract that they seen unable and unwilling to break.
  • Highly structured. This type is likely to set rules within the relationship that they intend to rigidly follow. Though this may seem like a con, it makes the ISTJ more conscious of ways in which their significant other would like the relationship to improve.
  • Calm and relaxed. Two-sided arguments are not common among ISTJ types simply because this type is not prone to losing their temper. They often maintain a clear head in risky situations and are able to devise a practical solution.
  • Honest. You can be sure that if your significant other falls into the ISTJ category, he or she is telling you the truth throughout the relationship.

Disadvantages of Dating an ISTJ Type

While there are quite a few positives that go along with engaging in a romantic relationship with this type, there are also several drawbacks, including:

  • Stubbornness. While ISTJs are likely to admit responsibility for their actions, they are not fond of admitting that they were wrong.
  • Insensitivity. Since the ISTJ prefers logic to emotion, the emotional reactivity or response of a significant other may baffle the ISTJ, causing him or her to react with passivity and appear not fully invested in the conversation.
  • Judgmental. To the ISTJ, first impressions are everything. This is especially prevalent when it comes to the opinions presented by others upon meeting an ISTJ.
  • Rigid. ISTJs tend to operate in a manner that is always in concordance with rules and guidelines, which presents them from being flexible when a partner bends those rules, such as if they happen to show up late to a date or not call when they claimed they would.
  • Workaholics. ISTJs spend the majority of their time working on projects either for their career path, personal interests, or academics; they find it difficult to take a break, which may contribute to bitterness towards the people in their lives.

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Friendships

ISTJ types have a tendency to be incredibly loyal to those they deem their friends. While it may take some time to earn their trust, once you’ve gained it, the ISTJ will without a doubt hold any secret you tell them to the grave. Because of the honesty aspect, this type ends to shy away from gossip and those who engage in it, typically preferring conversations that focus more upon the facts and concrete events on a global scale. They may come off as unaffectionate and talkative, but, despite their cold demeanor, the concept of friendship is placed high on their list of things that are necessary and important to their lives.

This personality type prefers to spend time with people who share their principles and opinions, as well as agree with the ISTJ’s beliefs. The judgmental factor comes into play here when friends or acquaintances contradict something an ISTJ is fiercely adamant about. While argumentation is out of character for this type, they are quite open to engaging in a friendly debate that has potential to become heated, though not typically on the side of the ISTJ.

For more information on the ways in which your type can influence the life path you choose, take a look at this course on the psychology of personality. Also, if you’re interested in learning more about questions that should be asked in order to determine an individual’s personality in person, check out this blog post on personality interview questions.