ISFJ Relationships: Everything You Need to Know

shutterstock_150215573ISFJ stands for Introversion, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging, and it is one of the sixteen Myers-Briggs personality types. ISFJ personalities place a lot of importance in personal relationships and are very loving often placing the needs of others above their own. Sometimes, ISFJs become emotionally needy and hide their feelings from others, but a friend who is sensitive to their emotional needs can find a great companion in an ISFJ.

Because of their compensating personality, and outright inability to say “no”, ISFJs often find themselves taken advantage of. Knowing how to build the right relationships can help you in both a personal and professional setting. Understanding how to identify the different personality types an learning how to most effectively communicate with each one can help you immensely in understanding Organizational Behavior, which Udemy offers an online course on to get more insight on personalities.

ISFJ Strengths

The ISFJ has many great strengths that benefit both them and others. These include:

  • Being warm and friendly to all people
  • Being a good listener
  • Enjoy pleasing others
  • Being very organized
  • Taking care of daily and practical needs
  • Handling money and being conservative with credit cards and cash.

Because of all their great strengths, they tend to work well with others in many types of relationships and people usually find them appealing because they are willing to do almost anything to make the relationship work.

 ISFJ Weaknesses

Though ISFJs have many strengths, they also have weaknesses. Many of these weaknesses are a play on their strengths, as ISFJs tend to be volatile creatures. These weaknesses include:

  • Not paying attention to themselves/ignoring their own needs
  • Being set in their ways/not liking change
  • Refusal or incapability to expressing their needs
  • Disliking criticism
  • Hating conflict

These weaknesses can cause the ISFJ not to recognize when a relationship is bad for them and can make it hard for them to leave the relationship.

ISFJ Love Relationships

Because ISFJs are committed in their relationships, they usually make good spouses. Their relationships with their spouse are their priority, and they tend to seek monogamous commitments. This allows them to be completely faithful to their spouse, and they expect the same in return.

Most ISFJs are also selfless and put the needs of others in front of their own. This can be a good thing, but it could also be a weakness, so those in relationships with ISFJs should focus on the needs of the ISFJ person to help with balancing.

If you are in a relationship with an ISFJ, you need to understand more about them to keep the relationship healthy and in good working order. Remember that the ISFJ may not be able to leave a relationship, even if things are becoming worse. This is because the ISFJ blames him or herself and worries about what they could have done differently. This may not be your problem, but it is important to end the relationship quickly if you are no longer interested as the ISFJ may not be able to do so. Some ISFJs cannot even remarry or date again when their spouse has passed on.


For ISFJ personalities, intimacy is considered a strength and a bonding agent for the relationship, so there are usually no problems in this department. However, some ISFJ people believe that intimacy is required and will make themselves worry over the amount of time needed to be intimate. This leads the ISFJ person to ignore their own needs and focus only on their partner, making them great lovers. However, they are not adept at allowing themselves that pleasure.

If you are intimate with an ISFJ, it is important to understand they may not be able to talk about how they feel about you. This can make you self-conscious and think you are not good enough, but this is usually not the case. Instead, focus on what the person is doing for you. The ISFJ person will show you how much you are loved, so it is important to look for the signs.

Udemy has many courses on relationships, including The Secret Language of Love to learn more about how ISFJ personalities can work effectively in a relationship.

ISFJs as Parents

The ISFJ person can make a great parent because parenthood is considered a duty to the ISFJ person. These people are usually very responsible and dependable, so they can easily take care of children properly and realize the needs of their kids.

Typically, ISFJs work best in a two-parent household because they do have problems with punishment and discipline. They do not enjoy conflict, which can be detrimental if they avoid disciplining a child for his or her bad behavior; you cannot ignore the wrongdoings of the child because then the child feels he or she can do anything with no consequences. There are many online courses out there to help parents learn how to play to their own and their child’s strengths.

That being said, there are many ISFJ parents that get over their discomfort of discipline because they understand they must teach their children good values, so it is important for you to step in if your ISFJ partner cannot discipline, but it is also important to let them try.

If you are in a relationship with an ISFJ person and have children, rest assured that the child will have a lot of structure, warmth, affection and appropriate guidelines. Just make sure that the child has appropriate discipline whenever necessary and be the disciplinarian when required to ensure you child does not grow up to be a problem adult.

The ISFJ Friendship

In most cases, the ISFJ person will place religion and family before everything else, including friendships. This can make it more difficult to be friends with an ISFJ, but the benefits usually outweigh the infrequent visits.

ISFJs are very kind and considerate and want to help others. Therefore, it is easy to befriend an ISFJ and talk about your problems and get real advice. However, be warned that the ISFJ will also want to voice their concerns with family, friends and work life. Many ISFJs do not feel it right to talk to their spouses and families about any problems they are having because that takes away from everyone else’s needs. Because they need their own companionship, they will turn to you, their friend.

They will also want to discuss large decisions with their friends before making any decisions. This can include purchasing a new vehicle or washing machine or anything else the ISFJ person feels important.

One potential problem is that the ISFJ likes to be around diverse groups to watch others. They enjoy seeing different emotions and situations, but tend to be very shy and will not open up about their own lives. Therefore, it can be difficult to become friends with an ISFJ.

It may take time before you are able to realize that your partner is an ISFJ person because they are so reserved. However, it is important to pay attention and try to see the signs as early as possible, so you can enjoy your relationship to its fullest extent. In some cases, counseling is required to help the ISFJ person open up more and deal better with conflict, but in most situations, the other person will understand the ISFJs quirks and will work towards fighting in a way that will benefit both of you.

As long as you do not take advantage of your partner because of their willingness to do anything for you, you will be able to enjoy your time with your partner or friend and have many years together.

To get more information on ISFJ relationships whether you are interacting with these personalities or are an ISFJ personality, check out Udemy today to learn about effective communication.