INTJ Relationships: Enticing the Examiner

intj relationshipsPersonality is one of the key determiners of the potential for success within a romantic relationship. Compatibility between two individuals can be easily assessed through a survey, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, to determine the likelihood of a relationship enduring or failing. In the sections below, we will focus on one particular type, which is referred to as “INTJ”, and discuss how the personality, strengths, and weaknesses of this type with regard to romantic relationships.

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INTJ Personality

Comprising a mere two percent of the population, INTJ types are extraordinarily rare, especially in the female domain. They are often viewed as highly intelligent and extremely confident, able to answer and respond to questions that fall into their area of knowledge with ease. Their ideas shine in comparison to many of the other types, yet they often prefer to remain out of the spotlight, keeping these insights to themselves and those they deem worthy enough to know. As perfectionists, INTJ types are constantly in search of ways in which they can improve upon ideas and systems.

The factor that contributes to the rarity of this type is their tendency to exude the impression that they are both decisive and imaginative, two typically contrasting personality traits. Unlike many others, the INTJ is able to both design an innovative plan and implement it in a creative manner. The logical thinking (T) enables each INTJ to rationally explore a new concept and devise a structured method of improving it, while the more right-brain based intuitive (N) side allows the individual to collect and construct the tools necessary to achieve their goals. INTJ types are natural leaders and seldom feel stress when expected to make important decisions on behalf of a group.

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Strengths in Romantic Relationships

Choosing to enter into a romantic relationship with an INTJ type can be a blast due to a variety of personality factors possessed by these types, which can contribute to a healthy, lasting relationship, including:

  • High Self-Confidence. INTJ types do not seek out reassurance from romantic partners because they are fully aware of their worth. This works to the benefit of the relationship since insecurity and doubt about the future will not typically become an issue.
  • Quick and Versatile Thinking. Since the field of interest often moves from subject to subject with only a moment’s notice for this personality type, adaptable and flexible thinking is highly characteristic of those who fall into this category.
  • Jack-of-all-Trades. INTJs often skip from hobby to hobby, participating in one until they feel they’ve become appropriately successful in that area before moving onto the next. They are often viewed as able to thrive in any area they put their effort towards.
  • Independent and Decisive. INTJs find it easy to come to clear and concise conclusions in a timely manner without the influence of peer pressure swaying them one way or another. They fiercely stick to their ideas and resist the control of authority figures over their way of thinking.
  • Hard-working and Determined. INTJ types are willing to put in the time and effort necessary to achieve their goals to the fullest extent and will not hesitate to pull up their sleeves and get to work. High levels of ambition present in this type also allow them to be successful in all of their endeavors.
  • Imaginative and Strategic. When an INTJ enters into a new relationship, they often find themselves planning and analyzing every potential scenario or outcome that could result depending on a variety of factors. Also, this forethought allows them to figure out what they should be doing in order to bring about the best possible outcome.
  • Honest and Direct. INTJ types view emotional games and manipulation as both irrational and immature, so they tend to shy away from situations and relationships that require a great deal of deceit. They tend to disregard those who do not divulge the truth and work to ensure that they never make their way down the same path.
  • Open-minded. INTJ types are often characterized by flexibility in thinking and viewing opinions. This is yet another factor that contributes to the rarity of this type, considering the judgment (J) aspect of their personality seemingly contradicts this tolerant nature.

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Weaknesses in Romantic Relationships

While there are many advantages that come with dating an INTJ type, there are also a few drawbacks based on personality traits such as:

  • Arrogance. INTJ types are characterized by high levels of self-confidence, which can easily transform into haughtiness if not kept in check by the individual.
  • Perfectionism. The individuals who represent the INTJ personality type strive for perfection in every activity they engage in, including relationships with others, sometimes putting too much pressure on the relationship.
  • Over-analysis of Situations. The calculating nature of the INTJ usually results in over-analyzing and reflecting on interactions and situations, often persisting to the point that even the most mild of provocations can become an enormous issue.
  • Judgmental. While judgment seems contrary to the open-mindedness tendency of INTJ types, the two coincide when it comes to conclusions reached by the individual. They display open-mindedness before they’ve come to a conclusion and judgment when others point out flaws in their work.
  • Insensitivity. Since INTJs often function in accordance with the logical side of their brain, comprehending and exhibiting empathy towards significant others proves challenging for this personality type and often inaccurately gives off the impression of insensitivity.

If you fall into the category of the INTJ personality type and are in a romantic relationship with someone represented by one of the other fifteen personality types, check out this course on living with differing personality styles. Also, if you’d like to learn more about the INTJ’s more sensing based neighbor, take a look at this article on ISTJ relationships.