Talking to a woman can be totally nerve-wracking. It doesn’t matter if its a first date, or if you’re approaching someone that you like and have just built up to courage to go and say hi. You worry about everything from what you’re wearing to what the girl might think, but fail to put any thought into the most important part – what you’re actually going to talk about. There’s nothing more terrifying than being in a deep conversation with a girl you like and drawing a blank – you’ve got no idea what to even say next. She’s smiling back at you and you’ve got nothing, no idea on how to keep this going. If you don’t do something soon it’s going to get awkward beyond repair, and that’s where we come in.
If you are still new to it all, you’ll love this course on everything you need to know about girls and dating the girl of your dreams.
Starting the Conversation
The first step is to spark up a conversation. Maybe you’ve seen a girl around your school or your work and you’ve been dreaming about going to talk to her. It’s exciting to go and talk to her for the first time, but you don’t know if you’re going to come across as cool and suave or a bumbling mess. Master communicators are always in control, and you can study their techniques in this course. Essentially, making eye contact is key, so try to catch her gaze a couple of times before you approach her. If you see her regularly you could do this with a short glance until you catch her looking back (no staring!) and when your eyes meet give her a quick smile and look away. If you’re new to dating you’re going to blush at this stage, which she’ll take to mean that you like her.
When you start to talk to her, you need to time it right. Don’t distract her if she’s deeply involved in something else, and you want to find somewhere where there’s a little bit of privacy. It doesn’t mean the two of you must be completely alone, simply find where you can both talk for a little while without her attention getting distracted. Be casual about how you do this, a simple walk with her back from the coffee shop to her office, or heading towards your next class at school is perfect.
If you don’t know her at all, one of the most effective ways is to be confident and introduce yourself. A simple “Hi, I’m Jake. What’s your name?” is a very good opener. Follow this up with a compliment she’ll know your intentions right away. You need to practice how you say this because even the best compliments fall flat if they’re not delivered right. Remember to keep a slight smile as you talk, it makes your voice more appealing. Maintain eye contact as well, but lower your volume a little bit from normal. Speaking softly gives the feeling of intimacy and she’ll lean in closer to listen to you. You should practice this one with a friend, or in front of a mirror beforehand.
You need to be very careful of the compliment you give, because there’s a fine line between flattering and creepy – so choose what you say wisely. Something like “you look amazing in that shirt” isn’t great, because it implies that you’ve been watching her. This comes off as very weird if you’ve never spoken to her before. Try something a little more cute, like “you’re glowing, what’s making you so happy today?” or “what you said in class was really interesting.” The goal is to lead into a deeper conversation instead of just awkwardly hanging around after you’ve given her the compliment. Her eyes, smile and hair are appropriate physical traits to compliment a woman on, and you shouldn’t comment on any other body parts – especially if it’s the first time the two of you have talked. You can play it even safer by commenting on a hobby or trait you know they’re especially proud of, like “I’ve heard you’re great on the guitar,” and then use this to find out a little more about her.
Continuing the Conversation
As you’re talking things seem to be going great until you hit a road block. Suddenly your mind goes blank and you don’t know what else to talk about, especially if it’s your first conversation and it’s stretching out past 5 or 10 minutes. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you, because letting the conversation lull will feel awkward for both you and the girl. You should focus on asking about her opinions, which shows you care what she thinks, and try to make any question open ended. Instead of asking if she has plans for Saturday (which can be answered with a simple yes or no), ask her what she’s going to do on the weekend, which needs a proper response and will help keep the conversation going.
When you’re talking to a girl, you don’t want it to be like a game of 20 questions. So keep this in mind and don’t shoot of more and more as you run out of ideas to talk about. The following questions are great conversation starters, but it’s up to you to build on these and expand the conversation around what’s being said. Active listening is the best way that you can do this, and people love talking to someone who is genuinely interested in what they have to say. Check out this course and learn how to become someone who people love talking to.
Our list of interesting conversation questions, will have you more than ready to talk to any girl. They are designed to reach a higher level of intimacy with a woman, so if it’s your first time speaking with her perhaps aim to keep the conversation a little lighter. But when you’re really trying to connect, whether you’re on a date or going for a long walk on the beach, here’s the best questions to ask a girl to find out a little more about her, and get her talking:
- What’s the coolest costume you’ve had for Halloween?
- What was the last nice thing you did for your mum?
- Which celebrity would you most like to get to know?
- If you ruled the world, what would you change?
- Who was your first crush?
- What was your favorite movie as a kid?
- Describe your favorite place to go on holidays?
- What would you do on a perfect day?
- What’s the cheesiest song you know off by heart?
- If you could have been a child prodigy, what would have been your skill?
- What’s the one thing you’d be really disappointed if you never got a chance to do it?
- What was the last book you really loved?
- What’s the last thing you regretted buying?
- Tell me about your most bizarre pet peeve?
- What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?
- What would your parents be surprised to learn about you?
- What’s the one thing you’ll never do again?
- What’s the most awkward to explain thing you’ve ever been caught doing?
- What music do you like listening to the most?
- Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
If you can make her laugh during all of this you’ll get bonus points, but it can be hard to do effectively, especially if you’re feeling a little nervous. You want to show you have an engaging sense of humor, without coming across as cheesy or desperate. If a situation comes up that you can crack a joke about definitely do it, perhaps something has just happened right in front of you and you’ve got something funny to say. This is much more interesting than repeating a joke from the internet. Steer clear from dirty jokes, and if she doesn’t get it just move on with the conversation. Someone with good humor is attractive, but someone with a bad sense of humor is a complete turn off. If you don’t have anything to say that works, it’s best to stick to a normal conversation.
Finally you need to close the conversation and leave her wanting more. Find a graceful way to exit, before it gets too drawn out between the two of you, and she’ll be happy to speak to you again next time. If you feel there’s a connection and you ask her out for another date, check out all of the great ideas in this post for something fun and a little different to do. One of the best ways you can impress a woman is showing off your cooking skills, so be sure to see how easy it is to cook for a date in this course.
Speaking to girls is easy, especially if you know the right questions to ask. Start with our interesting conversation topics, and see what else you can come up with to make your communication with women a real success!