Whether you’re preparing for an important business presentation or gearing up to ask your crush on a date, confidence is key. If you can show that you are confident, more people will be inclined to take you seriously. The problem with confidence is that there seems to be a fine line between just enough and too much. Appearing to be too egocentric can be a turn-off to many people. So how can you exude confidence without coming across as too confident?
There are a handful of little tips and tricks on how to show confidence without scaring everyone away. Through body language, appearance and the way you interact with others, you can win friends, people in your relationship, and clients in no time.
If you’re interested in getting started, Udemy has a course on boosting self confidence that will get you back in the game!
You’d be surprised how much body language says to others. Even when you’re not aware of it, your body is telling everyone around you how you feel and what you’re thinking. Let’s think about an office party. If you see someone slinking around the corners of the room, arms crossed, avoiding eye contact with others, chances are they aren’t feeling very confident. Now if you see someone gesturing wildly with their arms, laughing boisterously and speaking with everyone, you can tell that they are feeling confident in the situation. How can you show confidence, no matter where you are?
- Stand erect. If you stand too erect you’ll look like you’re participating in a military drill, but standing up straight is important. Slouching shows that you’re feeling uncomfortable and don’t care much about your appearance. Standing up straight shows others that you’re aware of your body language and aren’t afraid to see others face to face.
- Make eye contact. There’s hardly anything that shows less confidence than avoiding eye contact when speaking with others. Have you ever been in an argument with someone who tells you to look them in the eye when speaking to them? Or stuck in the middle of a confrontation when someone dares you to tell a lie while looking them straight in the eye? It can be hard to make eye contact when speaking about things that you don’t believe in or don’t feel confident about. When you have confidence in yourself and what you’re speaking about, you’ll have no trouble making eye contact with everyone you interact with.
- Don’t cross your arms. If you stand in a corner of the room with your arms crossed, you may as well be wearing a big sign that says “DON’T TALK TO ME”. Whether you mean for it to come off that way or not, having your arms crossed automatically makes you unapproachable. It almost seems as though you are hiding behind your arms, not leaving yourself open for conversation.
- Smile! Smiling can instantly transform a nervous face into a confident one. When you smile, you automatically seem inviting and others will be more inclined to speak with you.
- Stop fidgeting. This is a habit that I can’t seem to break. All too often, you don’t even realize you’re doing it until your significant other – or friend, or family member – has to basically grab your hands and tell you to stop fidgeting with things. Whenever I feel awkward in a situation, I find it necessary to start touching everything and pretend to be extremely interested in a book, or a painting, or a knick knack. When you do this, everyone around you can tell that you’re uncomfortable. If you feel yourself dying to walk over to a bookshelf and start aimlessly staring at things, stop yourself! When you are feeling self-conscious, your hands all of the sudden feel like the most awkward part of your body. Look at everyone else around you; what are they doing with their hands? Odds are, they’re just hanging out at their sides. Stop focusing on your hands and start focusing on interacting with others.
If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, it can be hard to express your confidence to others. By taking care of your personal hygiene, you’ll feel better about yourself and exude positivity and confidence.
- Brush your teeth. Knowing that you have a peppermint-fresh mouth and pearly whites will allow you to hold a conversation without worrying about your breath the entire time. And when you have good dental hygiene, you’ll be more likely to smile everywhere you go.
- Wash your clothes. Have you ever seen a business man get up on stage to present an important presentation, only to find that there was a huge coffee stain all the way down his shirt? Odds are you haven’t. But if you have, how did he seem to feel? Did he seem confident, or did he seem worried that no one would take him seriously due to his appearance? If you don’t keep your clothes clean, you’ll spend your days wondering how many people are noticing your stain rather than focusing on being confident and having strong interactions with others.
- Keep your hair out of your face. I’m sure you’ve seen at least one person like this, whether at the office, the subway, or back in high school. Their stringy hair falls over their eyes, their head is down and they don’t make eye contact with others. When leaving your house, make sure your hair is clean and brushed, and that others can see your eyes. When your hair is covering your eyes, you seem as though you are hiding behind your hair and don’t appear approachable.
Interactions With Others
The way you interact with others can easily breach the thin line between confident and cocky. Know how to present yourself and you’ll make friends instead of enemies.
- Speak loud and clear. This, however, is one of those things that has a fine line. You want to speak loud enough for people to hear you, but not loud enough that everyone thinks you’re just looking for attention.
- Say hello to everyone! Even if you don’t know them. Whether you’re walking down the street or entering an elevator, greet whoever you come across. You’ll appear friendly, inviting, and confident in yourself. And who knows? Your polite interaction may be just what someone else needs to gain their own confidence.
- Don’t try to impress. Odds are, the more you try to impress people, the less impressed they’ll be. If you focus on trying to convince everyone how great you are, they’ll assume that you need their acceptance in order to gain confidence. Those who are already confident don’t need this reassurance. Instead, focus on being friendly and asking others about themselves. The more genuine you seem, the more others will want to be in your presence.
Try to study the way confident people present themselves and compare their actions to yours. Do they seem like the life of the party while you’re a wallflower? Do you walk with your head hung low while others walk with their shoulders back, smiling and making eye contact with everyone? While a change such as this doesn’t happen overnight, there are small steps you can make that will slowly transform you into a more confident person. Even if you don’t feel confident, you can fake it until you make it. The more your confident your body language and appearance make you seem, the more confident you will end up feeling in the long run.
If you’re looking for more ways to boost your self esteem, check out Udemy’s course on getting rid of self doubt!