How to Overcome Nervousness: Stay Calm and Carry On

how to overcome nervousnessI lay in bed most nights, wide awake, thinking about the laundry list of things that I have to get through the next day.  I stress about issues and wonder where I’m going to find the time to do them all.  Then, all of a sudden I’m filled with the dreadful; did I lock the doors, put the left overs away questions?  Are the kids tucked in?  Of course my brain decides to focus on things that will keep me wondering until I get out of bed to confirm that yes, the chicken enchiladas have been put away and the kids are sound asleep.  My brain just never seems to turn off when it should.  My husband tells me that it’s easy to do, “Just close your eyes”, he says.  If it were that easy I’d be a well-rested mom of three. However, there are ways to alleviate this irrational nervousness. One way is is 21 Master Stress and Anxiety Online Program that trains your brain to shift into calm, healthy and centered living. Read on for more ways to bust those nerves.

Unfortunately, for some of us dealing with the nervousness and the anxiety that comes with life isn’t as easy as it is for others.  I’ve battled my nervousness in other forms as well and have done so throughout my life.  Just the thought of being alone makes me shudder, which drives my husband crazy.  Physically, I express my nervousness by biting my nails.  I have been doing it for so long and so often that sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m doing it anymore.  If you’re a Nervous Nelly like I am, there may be physical ways that you use to alleviate your nervousness.  Maybe your outlet of choice is hair pulling, teeth grinding, or maybe you prefer to binge eat.  Having an outlet through which to channel your nervousness isn’t a bad thing, but we could all probably find healthier ways to do it (that don’t involve bleeding cuticles, bald hair patches, or unwanted weight gain).  For example, I’ve found that a little meditation really goes a long way for me.  I actually sleep better when I take some time to myself to help erase the nervousness and anxiety that I feel about laying my head down to go to sleep.  Give meditation a try, it may work for you too!  We offer a great Meditation for Stress course that can teach you how.

While going to bed and the overwhelming thought of what I have to get done the next day are what make my heart rate rise and palms sweat, other peoples nervousness may be brought on by different situations.  Meeting new people, public speaking, a first date or even a blind date brings on the nervous jitters for many.  Nervousness sometimes gets a bad rap sometimes, but it shouldn’t.  Feeling nervous shouldn’t always be associated with something bad.  Being nervous is just one of the ways that your brain tells your body that you’re doing something that you may not be completely comfortable with.  You are venturing outside of your comfort zone.  I think that we should all do that on occasion, don’t you?  Challenge ourselves to step outside of our box of normal and test the limits of new and sometimes uncomfortable.

Luckily, I’m not just the type of person to sit by idly and not share tips and tricks that I’ve learned and use to help me to deal with my nervousness.  Now, I say deal because I believe that no matter how many situations you’ve been in, there will always be those moments that still make you feel a little nervous inside.

Embrace It

Que sera, sera… whatever will be, will be.  Think about how you’re feeling when you begin to feel nervous.  Do you feel anxious, is your stomach churning, palms sweaty, heart rate up?  Take note of the physical reactions that your body is experiencing due to your nervousness.  Or, maybe your nervousness comes in the form of self-doubt.  If that’s the case don’t deny them, acknowledge them and try and remind yourself that it’s probably that self-doubt that made you feel nervous in the first place.  Believe in yourself, you can be your biggest supporter, or your harshest critic.  Which would you rather be?

Accept It

Like I said earlier, nervousness isn’t something that you learn how to deal with and then never have to feel again.  It’s an emotion that you can learn to control, but odds are that you’ll still encounter it at some point in your life.  Accept that certain situations are going to make you uncomfortable and that you’ll have to deal with that discomfort and push through it.  If you tend to feel nervous before you have to speak in public, then practice those skills and learn to channel your nervousness into adrenaline.  Public Speaking the Fearless Way will help you reframe your feelings so that they don’t hijack your body and take over your presentation.

Channel It

Don’t feel as though your nervousness is always going to be working against you.  Instead take your nervousness and make it work for you.  Stop giving your nervousness the power to rule your life and possibly ruin an important presentation.  Take control of it and visualize yourself instead, being successful because of it.  Channel your nervousness and use it push you to be better.  Instead of letting it have power over you, take it and turn it into the power of success.


Be Realistic

Realize that things are going to happen.  It’s a rare occasion when everything goes your way, especially when having to do something that makes you feel nervous in the first place.  We’ve all been there and guess what we’ve made it through.  Prepare yourself for worst-case scenarios, understand that they will and do happen.  Don’t’ expect perfection.  Odds are that you’ll only be disappointed if you do.  Instead set realistic goals for yourself.  Turn the possibility of chaos into something that you can instead control and manage.  Commanding Chaos will teach you a variety of exercises that will teach you how to set goals that can be achieved under a variety of conditions.  Be prepared for anything and you can deal with anything.


Take a step back and breathe.  Inhale, exhale, repeat.  When we become nervous we tend to speed up our breathing, which in turn speeds up our heart rate, and then we begin to feel light headed, and then…we pass out.  Just kidding, not all of us will pass out.  If you are the type that passes out though, then you should really pay attention to this step.  Focus on each breathe, picture the way that your chest rises with each inhalation and your lungs deflating with every exhale.  The next time you begin to feel your nervousness creeping up focus on your breathing and feel the nerves back down.  Breathing Made Easy has helped many students learn how to minimize their nerves simply by taking the time to focus on their breathing.

Take a second to think about what makes you nervous and what you’re willing to do to accept that feeling and take control of it.  I’ve given you some exercises to learn to deal with your nerves, but in the end only you can control it.  Try out some of these courses to gain that control over your thoughts and emotions that I’ve had success with.