Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” This is a very true statement that few people consider. Every person is different – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yet, many people tend to go through life trying to fit the mold of society. In truth, there is no mold because everyone is different. If you want to be yourself, try using these five steps to discover who you are and flaunt it in a way to find the people that will always accept you for who you are. Meditate and discover more about yourself with an online class.
Find Out Who You Are
This could very well prove to be the most difficult part of being yourself because this is the step where you will discover what defines you. Clear a chunk of time out of your schedule, and just think about who you are and what makes up you. Consider your morals and values, and don’t be afraid of conflicting values and morals. That’s a key part of discovering who you are, and it will take time to tidy up all the conflicts. The key is to knowing that they’re there and working toward discovering which of those morals and values really do define you.
Think about your past, and consider the choices you’ve made. If you’re a journaler, consider reading through them to get some insight on your past self. Don’t fixate on the past, however. Use it as a way to see how you’ve grown and what you’ve changed. If you’re not a journaler, consider starting the process. Create Write Now has an entire website of resources to help you learn more about yourself.
Remember to define yourself in your own terms. If you choose to use personality tests as a tool, don’t put too much emphasis on what they say about you. Meditate on what it says and decide for yourself what really fits you. Use this long list of adjectives, and describe yourself and your traits. It’s likely to fit you better than any personality quiz. Discover your purpose with a life coaching course.
Forget What Others Think About You
Ignore the people that can’t accept the real you. The right people will find you and love you for who you are. When interacting with the general public, don’t let others filter your actions. Use only your consideration of others as your filter. Value the opinions of those that truly matter to you. Find out who these people are, and surround yourself with them. They are the ones that will truly love you. Rejection by the mainstream can be hard; find out how to heal yourself in this online article.
Do what you can to avoid those that “only mean well” and lead you down a path to find out who they think you are While they might actually mean well, they’re just trying to shape you into the person they want you to be. Train yourself to recognize intimidating, sarcastic, conniving, or thoughtless comments. Don’t group them with comments that are true constructive criticism meant to help guide you on your own path.
Stop comparing yourself to others. You’re never going to measure up, and falling short each time is only going to abuse your self-esteem. As Alan Watts once said, “Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” Quit beating yourself up, and be happy with who you are instead of who you wish you could be. That person you wish you were might not even be who they really are. Remember to relax too. Tension is just another way of telling yourself you don’t really believe in yourself.
Be Honest and Open
Everyone has flaws. That’s what human beings are – flawed beings that are just trying to make their way through life. Come to terms with your own flaws. Either turn them into your own personal quirks, or acknowledge them for what they are – your own imperfections. Be honest with yourself, but don’t verbally or mentally abuse yourself. There’s a way to talk about your flaws that isn’t negative. Find that way, and practice it. Stop beating yourself up – learn how with an online class.
Treat Yourself the Same Way You Treat Those You Care About
Are you kind to your friends? Do you think about what you’re going to do or say before you do or say it to them? Do you respect them and their boundaries? Why, then, don’t you treat yourself the same way? Why do you call yourself names and berate yourself for messing something up again? You’re a human being, and all humans make mistakes. Why is it that you can’t accept your own then?
You’re always kind to the people around you, but you don’t bother to take the time to be kind to yourself. Friends consider your gifts thoughtful, and they make comments on how they can depend on you because you’re always there for them. Why aren’t you as thoughtful to yourself? Your parents taught you to show respect, but you never bother to turn that respect inward.
Reflect on yourself, and find out the best version of you that you would love to be all the time. Then take that version of you out, and never put that person back into storage. As as species, humans tend to rely on others to boost self-esteem. Don’t rely on someone else to boost you up. The best person to boost your self-esteem is around all the time whenever you need him or her – yourself. People will notice and make comments – good comments.
Flaunt Who You Are
Whether it’s the way you dress or the way you talk, don’t be afraid to show off your individuality. Develop your own sense of style, and don’t let society tell you its wrong. If it makes you happy, hold onto it. It doesn’t matter what others think. Go back and reread the section on forgetting what others think about you. Only consider the constructive criticism. You might stray from the mainstream, but that’s what makes you who you are.
A young couple got married, and the woman discovered she preferred to work. The man preferred to stay at home, clean, and raise their daughter. While they’re happy with their marriage arranged the way it is, family members continue to make comments. The woman’s mother always snidely remarks that her daughter’s husband is actually the wife because he refuses to work. This young woman has been married for four years, come this August, and she refuses to let her mother’s comments get to her.
Learn your communication style, and stick to it. Practice it, and do it well. Not everyone will understand you, but those who do are those people that you should be around. Love the things that make you unique, and don’t let anyone take them away from you. People who try to take away your uniqueness are not people you want to be around if you can avoid it.
Avoiding people who refuse to accept you for you can be difficult if those people are family. However, there are only two possible outcomes to this kind of situation. Either your family will eventually come to accept you the way you are and get over themselves, or they will refuse to accept you. Accepting their refusal and refusing to change yourself to make them happy will make you a stronger person, and you will find people who do accept you.
One Final Word on Being Yourself
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t give other people the power to create you into their image. You have your own image, and it is in no way inferior to the image they’re trying to mold you into. Only you should hold the power over yourself, and people who can’t accept that just aren’t worth your time. Leave that relationship, and reach out to those that can accept you.
Tear off the masks, and leave your true self bare for the whole world to see. Focus inward, and reflect on your thoughts. Consider those things that hide you, and peel them off bit by bit. Listen to your intuition, and move forward. Look back on the past only to reflect on how much you’ve grown and how far you’ve come. Never get fixated because it will impede your ability to grow. Always remember that there is only one you, and never try to duplicate someone else.
Want even more education in this area? Learn how to understand yourself with an online course.