How To Be More Confident: Conquering Your Demons

how to be more confidentThe difference between having little self-confidence and having a lot of it can drastically change a person’s life.  Whether it’s asking the girl of your dreams out, applying for that job that you’ve always wanted, or just simply being content with yourself, being a confident person can take you just about anywhere you want to go.  In most cases, the only thing that is stopping you from getting there is yourself.  But that is about to all change.  If you are looking for ways on how to be more confident, you have just hit the jackpot.

Building self-confidence is something that can be learned and practiced.  Some people are more naturally confident than others, but with guidance and hard work, anyone can as confident as they want.  Below are some helpful pointers that could benefit you.

Get to know yourself better – You can’t defeat the enemy without studying and knowing him first.  The same goes for lack of self-confidence, except you are the enemy in this case.  Or rather, you are your own enemy.  Get to know yourself better.  Start asking yourself questions such as who am I exactly?  What are my goals in life?   What kind of person do I want to be?  Are you happy with yourself?  Start a journal and write about your thoughts and the things that occur in your life.  Reflect on these thoughts and work on the things you want to change.  Also, think about your strengths and weaknesses.  Knowing that you are good at certain things can definitely be a confidence booster, while working on your weaknesses will give you a sense of purpose in life.

This process isn’t going to happen overnight though, so have patience.  .  Keep in mind that even the most confident people have flaws that they want to work on.  If you decide that there are things you want to change about yourself,  whether it’s your lifestyle or your personality,   allow yourself enough time to make it happen.  Just knowing you are on the right  path should already give your confidence a jolt.

Be yourself – Once you figure out who you are and where you want to be, don’t let others discourage you.  The main reason most people lose their confidence is because they were influenced by other people.  Just remember that everyone is different, and you shouldn’t have to compare yourself to others.  Have faith in yourself and trust your instincts.

Think back to when you were first born.  You came out of the womb unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own needs.  When you were a baby and first learned to walk, did you think about other people’s thoughts?  Were you worried about failure?  Not at all, you just went for it and eventually succeeded.  Everyone was born with confidence, and it’s just a matter of retaining it.  Continue to be yourself and love who you are, but not too the point where you come off as arrogant or conceited.

how to be more confident

Think and act positive – The glass should always be half full, not half empty.  And just thinking positive is one thing, but acting positive is taking it one step further.  You won’t see many confident people being pessimistic or acting in a negative way.  Try to have positive thoughts, then act on them regardless what the situation is.  Actions are the key to developing self-confidence.  For example, say you met a nice girl at a social gathering and you were interested in dating her.  Thinking positively that she would be just as interested in you is a good start for being confident.  But if you acted on your thought and actually asked her out, that is taking it to the next level.  If she agrees to go out with you, that should be a huge confidence builder for you as you did everything you wanted to do.  However, if she says no, it can greatly affect your confidence level, if you let it get to you.  What you should be really focusing on though is the fact that you acted on your thoughts.  But if you still want to dwell on rejection, then read the next tip.

Move on – Failure and rejection are not the end of the world.  It happens to ALL of us at one point or another.  The key is to learn from it, and move on.  You may not believe it, but your chances of succeeding in the future will likely increase because you will approach the situation better.  You also become a stronger person because going through any type of rejection isn’t easy initially.  But you do get more accustomed to it and it should push you even harder to try to succeed.  Try to have short-term memory when it comes to failure.  When it occurs, reflect on it for a bit and then move on as if nothing happened.  Anyone who sulks in their own disappointment is not a confident person.

Look good – Even though you should focus more on your inner-self, it doesn’t hurt to also work on your physical appearance.  It doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy an expensive suit and pay hundreds of dollars to get your hair done.  But when you feel that you are well-groomed and in good shape, it can do a lot of good for your confidence.   This means wearing clean clothes, shaving, keeping up with fashion trends, and being in good shape.  One trait a lawyer must possess is confidence, because no one wants to hire a lawyer who thinks they are going to lose the case.  Almost every lawyer takes pride in their physical appearance by wearing suits, doing their hair, driving nice cars, and anything else possible to boost their self-confidence.

So this is something you may want to focus on if you are already confident from a mental standpoint, but not appearance wise.  Start going to the gym, learn about new fashion trends, work on your posture, or start eating a healthier diet.  No one is more conscious about your physical appearance than you are.

Don’t seek perfection – Do you know anyone who is perfect?  Me neither.  Mistakes are going to happen, it’s just a part of life.  Don’t be so hard on yourself if you did horrible on your exam or you accidentally insulted your best friend.  Strive to be the best person that you can, but make also make sure your goals are realistic.  If you play basketball and you want to play in the NBA, don’t go quitting your job and leaving everything behind to pursue your dream job, unless of course you are extremely talented and over six feet tall.  Even the most confident person has to be realistic with what he or she can achieve.  Aiming for perfect all the time will only cause you more stress and self-doubt, which is unhealthy for any person.

how to be more confident

Don’t be lazy – Studies have shown that people who are constantly active are generally more happy and confident in themselves. Instead of sitting in front of the television and watching fictional characters live their lives, get outside and enjoy life.  Pick up a hobby or start something that you are passionate about.  Explore new places that you’ve never been to before.  Travel to a different country that you know nothing about.  Volunteer some time to help out others who are less fortunate.  Doing something challenging and forcing yourself to adapt to change are great ways to build more self-confidence.  And when you succeed at it, you will feel that much more accomplished when you reflect back on it.

Practice being more confident – Again, people do not change overnight.  And just like everything else in life, practice makes perfect.  This means being more aware of your thoughts and actions.  If you are known for being a negative person, try to spin things so you are seeing the positive side of it.  Try to smile more often and practice good posture.  Speak up when you are talking to people and make eye contact when you can.

Another great way to practice is when you meet new people.  Since they have no idea who you are, they can only judge you based on your looks and your initial conversation.  Show them who you really are, yet don’t be worried about what they think about you.

Take more risks in life and don’t be afraid of trying new things.  This will help you develop all the necessary traits that are needed to build confidence.  Or better yet, take an online course that can instruct you on how to transform self-doubt into confidence.  There are always ways to improve self-confidence, but it’s solely up to you to work on it!