If finding love is so fundamentally important to human beings, then why is it so difficult to find sometimes? If you haven’t met the love of your life yet, you may ask yourself this question often. Some people are lucky; true love falls right into their lap and they are able to sustain a happy, healthy relationship. However, not everyone is so lucky. If you haven’t found your true love yet, you can take Udemy’s Secrets Of True Love Soul Mate Relationships course. There are also several simple tips and guidelines you can follow to ensure that you find love and happiness in a relationship.
Get Yourself Right First
First, let’s explore several common unhealthy relationship patterns. These should be avoided in order to ensure that, when you’re ready, the relationship you enter will be healthy.
- Settling – When you are lonely, you may find yourself settling for someone you don’t love. You may feel comfortable with this person, but you may not truly want to spend your life with them. You stay with them for security reasons and because you fear being alone. This may give you immediate gratification, but it can really hurt you in the long run. The time you spend with someone who isn’t right for you is time that you could be spending finding and being truly happy with the love of your life.
- Needing another person to feel happy – When you are single, you should spend time developing your interests and hobbies. You should also surround yourself with people you relate to and people who care about you. When you feel like you must be in a relationship to be validated and complete, you may need to spend some time alone to find happiness within yourself. You should love yourself, and, in doing so, you enable yourself to better love another person. If you need help learning how to love yourself, take Udemy’s 7 Days Of Self-Love: You Deserve More course.
- Needing to “save” someone – Only being attracted to people that you need to “rescue” or “save” probably means that you aren’t ready for a healthy relationship. When you have to “save” your significant other from his or her own personal issues and flaws, drama is created and the situation Is typically toxic/unhealthy. If you are drawn to these types of situations, you may need to step back and evaluate your behavior. It is important to be self-aware; if you are able to see your own flaws and work to improve them, you are more likely to attract a healthy relationship.
- Needing someone to “save” you – If your main motivation for being in a relationship is so that someone can “save” you from yourself and your insecurities, you may not be ready for a healthy relationship yet. You should find security within yourself; after that, you are likely to find a happy relationship in which neither person needs to be “saved.”
- You are still involved with an ex and/or have unresolved baggage – Usually, the best way to enter a new relationship is to not be at all involved with someone that you have previously dated. Also, you don’t want to start a new relationship as a “rebound” from your old relationship. Make sure you are completely over any of your old flames before beginning a relationship with someone new. If you need help with this step, take Udemy’s Sort Your Love Baggage course.
It is important to know what should be avoided in order to enter a happy and fulfilling relationship. To learn more common reasons that relationships fail, check out Udemy’s Why Relationships Fail: How To Be Happy blog post.
Know What You Want
While many various types of people can coexist in a happy relationship together, there are certain traits in a person that you can seek out to ensure that you enter a sustainable relationship with a person who shares important similarities with you.
- Similar life goals – You will probably want to find someone who wants the same things out of life that you do. They may not have the exact same goals as you, but it can be helpful if there are at least a few similarities. For example, if you know that you don’t ever want to have children but your partner wants children more than anything, you may experience relationship problems due to your differences in opinion, or one person may end up feeling unfulfilled in life if they do not get their way.
- Compatible communication – Communication saves relationships; for this reason, it is important to find someone with whom you are compatible so that you are able to peacefully resolve any issue that may arise in your relationship.
- Integrity – You should make sure that the person you spend your life with is a trustworthy, honest person. If you instead enter a relationship with someone who is a habitual liar and/or plays mind games, you have set yourself up for failure and a toxic relationship. While no one is perfect, you should at least find someone you consider to be a good person.
While there are no set-in-stone rules for finding a life partner, looking for these qualities can help ensure that you are not settling for less than you deserve. Most importantly, you should find someone who makes you happy.
Find Your True Love
While many people may find their true love almost effortlessly, some people have to make more of an effort to find that person. There are a few actions that you can take to help you find a compatible life partner, including:
Putting Yourself Out There
It is likely that you aren’t going to meet anyone if you stay at home all of the time. If you want to help yourself find love, you should try to be social. You can also let your friends know that you are looking to date someone and ask them if they have any suggestions. Many happy couples meet through mutual friends, so it can be an easy way to start dating someone. Also, if it works out, you will have mutual friends that you can spend time with together.
You should also try to start attending social events regularly. For example, you can join a club or take a class. When you attend many events that truly interest you, you can increase your chances of finding someone who has the same interests that you do.
Another effective way to meet new people is online dating. You can set up a profile on various dating websites and find compatible matches that are specifically tailored to you. This can be a great way to meet new people and go on dates. Even if your dates don’t work out, they may help you realize the things that you want and don’t want out of a relationship. If you try online dating, be sure that you meet up with your date in a public place. As long as you are safe, online dating can be a fun way to go on dates and meet someone that you truly care about.
Don’t Write Someone Off
You may have high ideals and expectations for your relationships. This can be a good thing, but sometimes it can hinder you from dating anyone at all if your expectations are unreasonable. For example, a reasonable expectation is wanting someone who you think is a trustworthy, honest person. An example of an unreasonable expectation is wanting someone who has a certain hair color or eye color; these types of expectations are purely superficial and have nothing to do with compatibility.
If you write off every person who does not meet all of your superficial expectations, you will have a much more difficult time meeting someone with whom you are compatible. While you should have some ideals in mind so that you don’t settle for less than what will make you happy, you should analyze your ideals and decide whether they are superficial or truly important.
While it may seem counterproductive, you shouldn’t search too desperately for someone to be with. Focus on your own needs, hobbies, and the things that make you happy. As long as you are still putting yourself out there and being social, you shouldn’t have a problem meeting someone. When you search too desperately or fall in love too easily, it may push people away. Keep your situation in perspective, and always remember that you are a worthy, happy person whether or not you are in a relationship.
Forget the Past
When you become lonely, you may find it tempting to reconnect with someone you have previously been in a relationship with; this is almost never a good idea. You should remember that the relationship ended for a reason and remind yourself why it didn’t work out in the first place. If you waste time with someone who doesn’t truly make you happy, you are hindering yourself from finding the person who does. You can’t find true love if you’re spending all of your time with someone you settled for. Keep your mind focused on finding someone who makes you truly happy instead of letting your mind wander and thinking about past relationships.
Take Your Time
While it may be tempting to rush into talking about marriage and long-term commitments with someone you just met, it is usually better to hold off on those conversations for a while and take it slow.
In doing so, you give yourself the chance to get to know someone without feeling pressured or pressuring that person to commit to you right away. You should also make sure you that you want a relationship for the right reasons; you shouldn’t just want to be with someone because you are lonely or because it is convenience. Instead, take your time and make sure the person you’re interested in is someone that you could see yourself coming home to every day.
While no action you take can guarantee that you find your true love, the aforementioned tips should help greatly. As long as you are socially active and seeking a relationship for the right reasons, you should have no problem finding your true love. If you’d like to learn more ways to find someone who is a great match for you, take Udemy’s The Magic Of Dating With Purpose course. You deserve to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with; take a course at Udemy.com today and empower yourself to find a happy, fulfilling relationship with your true love.