Finding Love Again After a Break-Up

finding love againOnce you go through a broken heart, you may feel apprehensive about finding love again. Some people never even get past a heart that’s been broken. On the other hand, there are ways to find love again even after being wounded emotionally by a lost love or a failed relationship. To deprive yourself of finding love gain is to miss out on one of the biggest blessings life can bring. Here is a course entitled 7 Days of Self-Love: You Deserve More, which will help you gain personal wealth, enjoy successful relationship sand achieve your goals—give yourself permission to love yourself!

So your relationship has ended and it doesn’t really come as a surprise that you are nervous about dipping your feet in the dating pool once again. Or, you might be concerned about never finding true love ever again. You might have even assumed that when it comes to love, you are just unlucky. You are not alone. Many people lose hope. One thing you need to remember that it is absolutely a possibility to find partnership that is fulfilling. By the way here is a course entitled Conscious Listening that transforms your communication and confidence by becoming someone that people love to talk to.

Not About Luck

Remember that love has very little to do with being lucky. As a matter of fact, there is a method to the madness of love. Working from the inside out is recommended. Before you pursue a new relationship, it is important to work on your sense of self, behavior, emotions and beliefs. Here is an article you might like entitled Quotes on Relationships: Thoughts on Love, Friendship and Heartbreak.

Who Are You, Really?

After the end of your relationship, you need to take a moment and re-examine yourself. Before you start swimming in the ocean of dating, you need to know who you truly are. Most likely, your relationships in the past shaped your preference and personality in some way. You no doubt accepted, changed or compromised some qualities.

One thing that singles that have found love again have in common is that they focus on what they want and who they are rather than worrying about how others will think of them.

Find out who you really are by defining your key values in life. What matters most to you? How important is your health, your job or faith in God? Make a list of characteristics you want to find in another person and be specific. For instance, if you want your partner to be ‘funny’ do you mean someone like a comedian, or one who has a dry sense of humor? Being specific will help you consider and reflect the true values you want in a partner without time being wasted.

Shake It Up

To find love again, make one simple and small change and commit to this for twenty-one days. For example, it has been found that singles that were divorced and cut their work hours by an hour a day had more of a likelihood of finding love again. New opportunities can open up by changing your routine. You can revise how you see yourself and increase the chances of meeting new people.

Begin With a Clean Slate

You will more likely find love again if you don’t feel anything for your ex. In order to find love once more, you need to detach or separate emotionally from a past or previous relationship. Remaining attached emotionally to people in the past prevents you from being present fully and trusting a new person. This keeps you trapped in a negativity cycle. No one is spared from emotional baggage. The key is to ensure that your own baggage does not weigh very much. If you still visit your ex’s Facebook page, compare other people to them and keep photos, you may not be able to find love again as easily as someone who is really detached. Here is a course you might be interested in entitled Sort Your Love Baggage: Making Way for Love that might help.

To become neutral emotionally, release your emotions in ways that are healthy such as engaging in social events and physical activity. Writing an honest letter to your ex, volunteering and getting creative with activities like playing music, gardening or painting. What can help is to share your story with people you love and seek their support.

Adjusting Your Expectations

When you are trying to find love again, forget all you know about relationships. The reason for this is because you might be holding on to certain unrealistic expectations and relationship myths, which can set you up for frustration and failures.

For instance, one myth that a lot of people have is that there is a specified time frame you have to wait after the end of a relationship before you begin dating again. On the other hand, there is no evidence scientifically to substantiate a specified frame of time. No two people are alike, some people need more time to heal and some are ready to date right after the end of a relationship.

Also, it is not realistic to believe that automatically, your partner will know what you need and want even after years and years of being married. At the start, people just don’t really know each other very well. Plus, as each year goes by, people change and so do their needs and wants. No one can really read minds so you have to ask for something if you need or want something.

Letting Love Come

Instead of going to where singles congregate to search for Mr. Right, get involved in activities that get you in touch with people that share your interests. Whether you do this through a city tennis club, a bowling league or a church, get involved in a positive manner in your community

Start Dating

You will need to keep your hopes up when you start dating again. At the start, you want to share or disclose yourself gradually in parts. It is not a good idea to reveal the entire history on the first date. This might seem like it’s obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people do exactly that: they reveal everything about themselves on the first hour of meeting because they assume that if their date does not like something they hear, then it’s on to the next person.

Remember, too much information (TMI) can overwhelm anyone, especially when its topics about your finances, kids and your ex. Also, don’t try to sell yourself. Dating is not about winning the approval of someone else. It is about checking to see if you are compatible. Ease slowly into a new relationship. Do not make attempts to replace the relationship you just lost. Rather, let the new one blossom and grow in its own way.

Keeping It Strong

When doing a relationship evaluation, think about whether you trust each other. Do you think in terms of “I” or “we”? Do you handle conflict effectively and share values that are similar? In order for your relationship to remain strong, you will need to frequently empty the pail of your pet peeves. Small annoyances do have a tendency to add up and this can be damaging to any relationship. Talking to your special someone about what bothers you is recommended.

Over time, make sure you affirm and recognize each other. When other tasks require your attention immediately like finances, health, jobs, parents and kids, it is all too easy to put your relationship on the back burner. You’d be surprised how just small behavior or a sweet phrase can go a long way. Here is a course entitled Learn About Love Addition that will teach you about whether or not your relationship is healthy or not.