ESTP Relationships: Pursuing the Persuader

estp relationshipsThe ESTP personality type refers to a group of individuals who are highly characterized by extraversion (E), sensory matters (S), thought (T), and perception (P). They are often referred to as persuaders because they are constantly in pursuit of new and exciting activities, which cause them to persuade others to engage in the activities as well. In the sections below, we will discuss the personality, advantages, and disadvantages of dating an individual who falls into the ESTP personality type.

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ESTP Personality

The ESTP could be most accurately classified as a “man of action”. Individuals who fall into this category highly value productivity instead of planning and implementation instead of thought. They are occasionally seen as reckless because of their impulsivity and frequently engage in activities that could be deemed dangerous. Living in the moment is a high priority in the world of the ESTP and planning or looking towards the future is altogether unnecessary for these types. Laws and obligations are typically dismissed if they stand in the way of a good time for the ESTP; however, this does not necessarily mean that ESTPs are lawbreakers, but rather that they value personal beliefs over societal norms.

Physically pleasing, yet potentially dangerous acts, such as gambling or drugs, are often present in the lives of ESTP types because they fit well with this group’s attempt to make the most of the lives they’ve been given. Risk factors are exhilarating for ESTPs and they often seem almost physically unable to resist these temptations. Abstract thinking and complex philosophical ideas are regarded as insignificant and unworthy of spending a great deal of time on. Instead, they tend to focus their energy and passion on concrete activities that are relevant to the real world, often including such items as athletics and other physical interests.

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Advantages of Dating an ESTP Type

Engaging in a romantic relationship with an ESTP type can be quite fulfilling and entertaining because of attributes possessed by these types, such as:

  • Boldness. The extraverted nature of ESTP types causes them to approach situations and events with boldness and confidence. They do not mind taking risks and often fill friendships and relationships with a lot of fun and excitement. This typically adds a great deal of variety and novelty in romantic relationships, which keeps significant others on their toes and eager for more.
  • Honesty. Mind games and manipulative tactics bore ESTP personality types, who would much prefer that others present in their lives simply act and respond with honesty, even if their words may cause discomfort or pain. In relationships, this works to the advantage of both parties because significant others of ESTPs can be sure that no secrets are being kept from them.
  • Perception. ESTP types find it easy to notice and assess changes in the people around them, whether it be in appearance or personality. This means that if the ESTP’s significant other is having a bad day, the ESTP will be able to pick up on it immediately and do what is necessary to turn the day around.
  • Originality. ESTPs often experiment with new activities and situations in order to explore and discover the things they enjoy the most, as well as the pursuits that are not worth their time. In a relationship, this influences ESTP types to be constantly on the lookout for new and interesting date and gift ideas.
  • Rationality and Practicality. ESTP types prefer to focus their efforts on the implementation of ideas, rather than the ideas themselves, and often engage in rational and practical pursuits. In relationships, this means that emotional reactivity is highly unlikely for this type.
  • People Oriented. The (E) in ESTP represents extraversion, which is characterized by charisma and the tendency to seek out situations that involve a great deal of socialization. ESTPs prefer to surround themselves with people and easily make friends and form relationships.

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Disadvantages of Dating an ESTP Type

Though attaining a significant other who falls into the ESTP personality type can be satisfying, there are a few drawbacks, as well. Personal attributes many ESTP types possess that may cause problem within a relationship include:

  • Disregard for Rules. Rule breaking is part of the nature of the ESTP and may cause these individuals to overlook rules and boundaries set in a relationship, such as fidelity or expectation to maintain frequent communication.
  • Risk-taking Behavior. ESTP types can be characterized by tendency to take risks in activities such as gambling or drug use. The addiction that forms from engaging in these activities often causes problems in relationships.
  • Insensitivity. Emotionality is not prevalent in ESTP types, which causes them to respond to situations rationally and calmly. However, when those around them react emotionally to stimuli, the ESTP may respond in ways that do not acknowledge the feelings of the other.
  • Impatience. The ESTP finds difficulty in remaining focused on a particular pursuit for an extended period of time, often jumping from activity to activity. These types tend to grow impatient when they are unable to move on to something new, which may cause them to lash out on a significant other.
  • Missing the Bigger Picture. Since ESTP types tend to live in the moment, looking towards what impact today’s actions will have on the future tends to be pushed aside and replaces with momentary satisfactions.

If you’re currently in a romantic relationship with an ESTP type and would like to find out more about how to make a relationship between two contrasting personality types work, check out this course on living with differing personality styles. Also, to learn more about the personality type that balances ESTP types most efficiently, take a look at this article on ISTJ relationships.