emotional abandonmentOne of the first signs a marriage is in trouble is when you are hiding your emotions from each other. Emotional abandonment is the proper term, and defines the situation when one or both people shut the other out. This is a problem because it means there is no longer any emotional support between the couple, and that they’ve stopped sharing. Imagine there’s an invisible wall built between the two people, which makes it impossible to maintain a close and intimate relationship. If you think this is the case for you, check out this course dubbed “relationship university” and make your partner a priority. 

There are many different causes of emotional abandonment. You could find it’s being done consciously, with an intention to drive the other party away. But in practice it mostly just creeps up on a relationship and slowly begins to drive a wedge between two people. Here’s how you know if there’s emotional abandonment in your relationship:

Sign #1: There’s a Lack of Physical Togetherness

If you find you’re spending more time on your own, rather than as a couple – there may be a disconnect in your relationship. Perhaps you are more comfortable in different rooms of your house, doing different hobbies or even going to bed at separate times and eating dinner alone. Physical distance is a key indicator of emotional abandonment, and is often rationalized by thoughts like “they don’t really care if I’m with them or not.” Some alone time is good, but too much is trouble.

Sign #2: You have Long Periods of Silence

When emotional abandonment is present in a relationship it’s very common for one person to stop talking and sharing with the other. This could be because the other partner has stopped listening, or perhaps they are getting the emotional support they need from a relationship outside of the marriage. It might just be that they have simply grown bored, and don’t know how to address it with you. If you’re in a relationship like this you could spend an entire evening with your partner but only say a few words to each other. This uncomfortable silence is a key sign of emotional abandonment.

Sign #3: You have One-Sided Conversations

Building on the silence you face you may find your partner isn’t talking or sharing at all. It could be that they’re not listening or they simply don’t care what the response may be. If one person is directing all of the conversations, or talking “at” their partner without allowing any input to the conversation this is a red flag that there is problems in the relationship.

Sign #4: You have or are being a Self-Centered Partner

A person who has emotionally abandoned their partner is often self-absorbed in their own feelings and emotions and doesn’t notice their partners tears, frustrations or anger. They simply don’t see the needs or wants of their partner, because the world revolves around them alone.

Sign #5: Denial

A person who is in denial will often emotionally withdraw from a relationship, instead of facing the problems or issues head on. Sometimes it’s easier to simply deny there is a problem, especially if one person in the relationship prefers to avoid emotionally charged issues. The downside is that if you choose to ignore it it can get much, much worse.

How to Fix Emotional Abandonment Problems

Keep your eyes open for the first signs of emotional abandonment in your relationship, and try to address the problems before they get out of hand. The longer the emotional abandonment is left unchecked, the harder it is for the wounds to heal. First you need to realize there is a problem, and agree on a time to talk about it with your partner. Don’t corner them and start complaining about all of the 101 things they’ve done wrong recently, but rather set a time and a place to work through the issues productively. Think about all of the problems you would like to work on, as well as setting expectations for your partner. This solution works, but only if you are both willing to make it work.

As you are talking be direct with your concerns but be gentle, and if things start to get heated perhaps take a break before it gets out of hand. Regardless of who has been doing the wrong things, you both need to build a solution together. Often the cause of emotional abandonment is that one partner feels their needs aren’t being met in the relationship and they begin to withdraw. You ultimate goal is to understand your partners needs and to commit to working to meet them. Listening is key, so if you find you struggle with connecting to your partner why not try a course that teaches you how to be the best listener possible?

Think also about things you may have done that has driven your partner away. Not all of it will lay at your feet, but take responsibility for anything you have done that has driven a wedge between you two. Finally, you need to reconnect. Organize date nights and make building a strong and healthy relationship your priority. If you’re struggling for ideas there’s a huge list of great dates for every budget here. Always act kindly towards your partner, and be the bigger person who steps out of the “eye-for-an-eye” mentality and respond differently to any insults, the best tactic for breaking down emotional barriers is unconditional love. You’ll find this strategy is key to building an awesome relationship, and you can learn more about creating a mind-blowing relationship with this course.

If you’re still struggling and decide you can’t do this on your own, your final option is to find a counselor. This is the best advice to follow, especially if the emotional abandonment has been going on for some time, or you are struggling to let go and resolve major issues.

In the end, it’s all about being happy. Learn what it’s like to be in a relationship with your soul mate with this course. The “secret” is actually simple: if you treat your partner well, they will treat you back in kind. This course will give you great tips to help you learn how to treat your partner well.

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