I think it’s safe to say that while true love isn’t the most common thing in the world, pretty much everyone is convinced of its existence. Everyone seems to have a different definition for true love, too. For some, it has to be eternal; for others, it can last a month or a week or a day, but as long as it met some certain criteria, it’s true love. But what are these criteria? Whether love is fleeting or here to stay, how can you tell if someone actually and truly loves you? I admit that such a thing – that is, proof of love – is impossible to achieve in the highest degree unless someone sacrifices their life for you.
But there are some more common and subtle gestures that seem indicative of the same thing. Following is a brief guide to true love, but don’t just take it from me: check out these secrets of true love and soul-mate relationships.
Are You A Confidant?
One of the most important things in relationships is communication, and not just about daily injustices or vain desires or little ticks that annoy the absolute s*** out of someone. Real communication with someone you love is about sharing – and wanting to share – the deepest, most personal and most painful truths and events of your life.
Think about it like this: if the person you love doesn’t share their strongest thoughts and emotions with you, then who else would they possible want to share them with? Their mothers? Their fathers? Their best friends? Someone else they might love? If you are the person they love more than anyone else in the world, then they should be comfortable sharing anything with you.
If someone tells you that you are the first person they’ve ever this, or if they confide that this is something they’re normally afraid to talk about, or if what they tell you is so incredibly personal that you can deduce for yourself the gravity of the conversation, then those are good signs that the person not only loves you, but trusts you with their personal identity. You have their love and their deepest thoughts; treat both with respect.
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Your Best Critic
I believe the best relationships are founded on friendship, as this allows both sides to become comfortable criticizing the other, but it also allows a realistic picture of who each person is to come into focus. When relationships take off too quickly, there really isn’t an accurate portrait of a person’s best and worst features to refer to. Instead, you just have this dream-scape of what you simply hope lasts for as long as possible.
No. If someone loves you, they are your best critic. They know when to tell you you’re wrong, when to tell you to stop, when to give you criticism you truly need. If they’re afraid to do this, then their fear is overpowering their love. This doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you, but it does mean that you need to return the favor and let them know that criticism is a good thing (at least, when performed with tact).
Incessant criticism is not healthy, but everyone needs a little nudge now and then to keep going in the right direction. Get some inspiration from these quotes on love and friendship.
There are a number of acts that should come naturally to someone who loves you. First of all, they should want to be around you, want to be near you and want to do things with you. Showing affection naturally is a sure sign that someone wants to be close to you and is perfectly comfortable doing so.
Your relationship should also be one in which you help each other out. This requires sacrifice, which can definitely become more difficult with time. Once the honeymoon stage wears off, are you or your lover still willing to take motherly care of you when you’re sick? Are you still treated to random acts of kindness? The little things add up, and if someone loves you, their affection towards you will be natural.
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Wishing You Well
No, not in the sense of saying goodbye. Does your partner truly desire the best for you? Does she want to see you happy? Does she want to see you do the things you love, follow the most important beliefs in your life and attain what is best for you?
And beyond wanting you to do these things, does she give you tough love when you doubt yourself or succumb to laziness? If someone loves you, they want to see you succeed. They do not want to hold you back. These things might be small; skipping out on a night out to be rested for something important in the morning. They can also be large: spending a year in South Africa to complete an anthropology PhD. But if someone loves you, they will not only accept these things, but encourage them.
Perhaps the most cliche of all love signs, trust is still probably underrated and definitely the thing most people struggle with. Trust should be viewed from this perspective:
On the one hand, if you don’t trust someone, you will maintain constant vigilance and thoughts will fester in your mind and you there will always be a scar on your relationship and however deep your love becomes, it will never be as deep as it would have become if you had just trusted the person you supposedly love.
On the other hand, you can do most people are not capable of and trust someone completely and unwaveringly. What’s the worst that can happen? Well, you can get your heart broken. But at least you gave it the best and most realistic chance; in other words, it did not fail because you did not trust someone. Something else ended the relationship. The alternative to this is that you’ll get your heart broken anyway and not have trusted that person. The key difference is that when the right person comes along, you want to be in the habit of going all-out. So trust someone, and look for that in return. It’s not only the sign of true love, but the sign that someone knows how to love.
But if things don’t work out, take your time to grieve and then you need to make a full recovery; there’s a lot of love out there. This top-rated course can teach you how to happy while single.