Some guys seem to know exactly what to say to a girl, and others just seem to not. If you need help talking to a girl, consider these tips below to help you in your next social interaction with a girl. These tips include how to break the ice and get the conversation started, how to keep the conversation going, and some great conversation starter ideas. Learn the secrets of true love with an online class.
How to Break the Ice
Getting the conversation started can often be the most complicated part of meeting anyone new, whether they be someone of the same gender or the opposite gender. There are a number of different ways you can break the ice with a girl you just met, and you can even use these tips on someone you know but don’t know well.
Greet her with a smile, and ask how she’s doing.
Gentlemen are hard to come by these days, and you can instantly make a good impression just by being a gentleman. Avoid slang like “Sup girl?” She’s not one of your pals that you just ran into on the street, even if you have talked to her before. Be polite, and try something like “Hello, how’re you doing?” She’s much more likely to be interested that way.
Girls love to be complimented, and it can really make a difference if you act like a gentleman when you compliment her. Just as before, avoid the use of slang. Also, be respectful. It’s a rare girl that will accept “Nice booty” as an acceptable compliment on a first meeting. Instead, try saying, “I like your eyes.” It shows that you’re interested in something more than her butt or her breasts.
Ask about the food or drink she has.
If you’re at a coffee shop, cafe, or a party you might want to comment on the food or drink she has in her hands. It’s a great way to lead into asking her about her favorite food or drink, which you can file away later for a date in the possible future. Remember to introduce yourself, or you might just end up being known as “the food guy.”
Sometimes, the best policy when approaching a girl is to just come right out and say it. Walk up to her, and tell her straight out that you wanted to talk to her. Perhaps give her a compliment (see the section above on giving compliments), and don’t forget to introduce yourself. Don’t come straight out and say you’d like her number. Just tell her that you really wanted the chance to talk to her.
How to Keep the Conversation Going
Once you’ve got the conversation started, it’s important to keep it going. A dead conversation will get you nowhere fast, and a girl can tell if you seem uninterested. So, here’s some tips on keeping that conversation going so you can end the night with a phone number. Learn how to create deeper connections with an online class.
Ask her questions.
Don’t ask her a “yes” or “no” question. Those are conversation enders, and you’ll find yourself struggling to keep the conversation afloat. When you do think of something to ask her, let her give her answer then give your perspective. Don’t wait for her to ask, “What about you?” She might never ask. Try to find out what she’s passionate about, and ask her questions about it.
Be sincere though. If you’re really not interested in her passions, consider ending the conversation there with a polite, “It was nice talking to you.” Don’t just keep pelting her with questions either; she might feel like you’re being insincere and show signs of wanting to move on.
Show off your best side.
One of the best ways to find out what she’s passionate about is to talk about your passions. You might even get lucky and discover that the two of you have the same passion. Remember to let her talk too. Talking about yourself is great so she can get to know you just like you’re getting to know her, but talking about yourself too much will make you look self-absorbed.
Make sure you avoid giving your opinion on something you don’t know much about. Maybe she says her passion is crochet. If you don’t even know what crochet is, don’t offer an opinion on it. You’re just going to come off looking unintelligent. Instead, ask her questions about it so you can learn what it is. You might get another opportunity to share your opinion on it after you know something about it.
Pauses are okay.
Not every minute is going to be filled with conversation. For one, you’re probably going to need a chance to think about what to say next, and she’s going to need that chance too. Plus, you’re going to need time to breathe. As long as you keep looking interested and give off an air of confidence, there’s a high chance she’s going to stay interested too. Don’t talk too fast, or you’ll look nervous. Plus, talking slower will make the conversation last longer.
Don’t ever let a pause run on for too long, or you might lose her interest. However, you should give her a chance to fill the silence herself. Continuing the conversation herself will give you a sure sign that she’s interested. However, she might not know what to say next. If she still looks interested, take the initiative and find something new to talk about.
Avoid touchy subjects.
People don’t like to talk about religion, politics, or gossip with people they just met. For one, these topics tend to get a bit touchy if you say the wrong thing without knowing what their political or religious affiliation is. Just remember that this is the first meeting, and keep it light. If things go well, you’ll have plenty of time later on in the relationship to discuss your religious and political differences.
Body language is key.
Even if you sound interested, you could lose your chance with a girl if your body language gives her a different signal. Take a course in body language, and avoid the awkwardness of mixed signals. Her body language is just as important. If she’s leaning in when you’re talking or touching your arm, she’s interested.
However, if she spends most of her time looking away or fiddling with something, chances are she’s a lost cause. End the conversation with a polite, “It was nice talking to you” and say goodbye. You’ll have opportunities with other girls that could be more interested.
Make her the most important person.
If you’re really interested in this girl, you should make her feel important. Ignore your phone if it goes off, or put it on vibrate or silent before you even approach her. If you run into friends while talking to her, introduce her, but try to give your friends unspoken signals that they should talk to you later. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint and back off so you can keep talking to her.
Ending the conversation.
If she really seemed interested and you’re still interested, ask for her number. Tell her that you had a great time talking to her and getting to know her, and ask for her number. If she’s interested in talking to you again, she’ll give it to you. If she doesn’t give it to you, there’s always next time.
Don’t come off as too needy or desperate. Wait a day before sending her a text or calling her. Tell her that you look forward to talking to her again, and ask her out. Keep it low key, and avoid staying on the phone for too long unless she’s really interested in the conversation. Take a class on how conversation works so you can really shine.
Even More Conversation Starters
If you’re still worried about starting the conversation, consider some of these starters. These go beyond the simple suggestions and tips in the above sections, but they should be used with the tips for best effect. Understand jealousy in relationships, and get tips on dealing with it in this article.
If you know the girl from somewhere, don’t be afraid to start the conversation by talking about your common experiences. If she’s a classmate, talk to her about the subject matter, or ask her what her favorite subject is. Are you having trouble in the class? Consider asking her for help. That study session could end up turning into a first date.
This particular suggestion was discussed both in breaking the ice and keeping the conversation going. However, this time you’re going to get example questions that you can try instead of just tips on asking questions. You can ask questions on any topic you can think of. Here are some example questions from pop culture, family and friends, hobbies or favorite activities, and upcoming events or holidays.
- What’s your favorite music? What did you think of their latest album?
- Did you catch the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory? (If they’ve never seen the show, chances are they’ll mention a show they like, or you can follow up with the question, “What’s a show you like to watch?”)
- What did you think of Leonardo DiCaprio’s latest movie? (Make sure you actually know what his last movie was, or replace with an actor/actress you actually know.)
Family & Friends
- Where are you from?
- What was it like growing up in the South? (Change this question to fit whatever area they might be from. You’re going to look ridiculous if you ask them what it was like growing up in the South if they say they’re from New York. Instead, you could ask, “What’s it like living on the east coast?”)
Hobbies & Favorite Activities
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- How did you get started in scrapbooking? (Replace scrapbooking with whatever hobby she might have mentioned.)
Upcoming Events & Holidays
- Are you planning a party for the Oscars? (If she’s interested in the Oscars and is actually throwing a party, you might end up snagging an invite.)
- Do you have any plans for the 4th of July? (This question can be changed to fit any coming holiday, and it can lead into an invite to join you if she doesn’t have any of her own plans.)