Body Language of Women: Demystifying the Signs

body language of women“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Body language is a window to the truth, many times revealing some unspoken meaning. When it comes to interactions between women and men, body language is very telling and it can be the difference between an amazing night and a first date horror story. The body language of women has puzzled some men for many many years, but today, I’m going to help you demystify it. After you’ve read this and you’re ready for the next step, try our course on the Secret Language of Love.

The Truth About Body Language

Body language includes many types of nonverbal communication, like facial expressions, gestures, body posture, body movements, and eye movements. Your body often tells the truth, even when your words convey another message. Body language can sometimes be more honest than speech because body language is generally subconscious behavior, whereas the words we choose and statements we make are usually very conscious and intentional. By looking at someone’s body language, you can even see hints of happiness, boredom, aggression, attraction, or comfort. The basic components of body language that we are going to take a look at are input and output, both understanding a woman’s body language, as well as communicating with body language.

Eye Contact & Smiling

First things first, you want to know if that girl across the room is into you. First impressions are everything and eye contact is one of the biggest indicators that she’s into you. If you get repeated or long lasting eye contact and a smile, she’s interested in talking to you. If she is not quite so bold, she’ll look up at you, with her head tilted to the side and glance away or look down after you two make eye contact.

Primping Herself

When a woman is interested in a man, she will often subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) bring attention to herself. She might fix her hair, lick her lips, check her top, or expose more skin. You must look to see if she made eye contact with you before doing these things because it could be that she’s directing her attention elsewhere or that she is just fixing herself to be more comfortable. If there is eye contact before the primping and afterwards as well, she’s digging you!

Once you’ve spotted the body language that gives you the go ahead to talk to her, go for it! Stay in tune and engaged with the conversation. The body language while you two are speaking will be even more telling.

Playing with Her Hair

While you two are talking, notice what she does with her hands. Women tend to get a bit nervous around men that they are attracted to and they need to release that energy somehow. Many women will twirl their hair or play with it in another way. This keeps their hands occupied and tips you off that they’re into you!

Toying with Her Lips

Another common thing that women do subconsciously, is toy with their lips. If you do not know what that means, let me explain. Women will fidget with their lips when talking to men they like, they might lick their lips or bite their lips.

Touching You

Body contact is one of the clearest ways to know if a woman is into you based on her body language. She might “inadvertently” bump into you as you’re talking or she might grab your arm or hand when she laughs, either way, its a sign she is probably interested in you. The more times she touches you, whether intentional or inadvertent, the more she’s into you.


A woman loves a man who can make her laugh and even on a first encounter, laughter is a very good sign that she likes you. If she’s laughing most of the time or more than usual, she’s probably into you. In terms of body language, sometimes there is a fleeting smile that will show on her face, indicating that she thinks something is funny and likes you. The momentary facial expressions are called micro expressions and are incredibly revealing.

Direction of Her Body

There are two things to look out for, which way is her body pointing? and Is she leaning towards you or away from you? If she is interested in you, she will naturally point her body towards you, keeping herself “open” to the interaction. Similarly, a woman engaged in the conversation will subconsciously lean in towards the person she is speaking to.

On the other hand, if she is not interested in you, she may cross her arms across her body, indicating that the is closing herself off and not inviting conversation. Also, she may be looking away from you or around all the time, subconsciously looking for a way out of the interaction. If either of these occur, try changing the subject and getting her to talk more about herself and what she is interested in.

Time for the Kiss?

Knowing if and when to go in for the kiss is probably the most difficult thing for a man to figure out when on a first date with a woman or when meeting her for the first time. Body language can be a big clue to demystify the process, but a man must look at a combination of her body language, her actions, her words, and the overall vibe of the night before making a decision. A common clue for men is to pay attention to a woman’s eyes. If she is looking down at a man’s lips, it may be an indication that she wants him to kiss her. She might also be making very strong eye contact and licking or biting her own lips too. Be very careful with this tip because if you misinterpret it, going in for the kiss at the wrong time could be a fatal move!

Responsive Body Language

Now that you know what to look for in her, what sort of body language should you convey to women to be more attractive? The most important thing you can do is to be yourself, but aside from that, some subtle mirroring is a good way to catch her eye. Mirroring is the process of copying what one person does, directly after they do it. If she touches her hand to her chin to think, you can do the same and if she smiles, you can smile to mirror her actions.

The No-No’s of Body Language

If you are not in fact looking for a new girl and you just want to understand the woman that you are with, I will help you understand some common body gestures that could mean more than you think. Some of the same gestures you see in the first stages of attraction, also arise when there is something bothering a woman so it is important to pay attention to what her body is telling you.

Avoiding Eye Contact

In the same way that eye contact is an indicator of attraction and appeal, the lack or avoidance of eye contact can indicate a problem in the relationship. It could be a sign that there’s something that you two need to talk about because she cannot “bear the sight of you.” If she is telling you about something and looks away, up and to the right typically, she may be lying. Additionally, her eyes might flutter and she might blinks constantly or use her hands to cover her nose and mouth when she is being deceitful.


Often subconsciously, a person will fidget when they are not being completely honest or have more to tell. Deceit usually causes a spike in the heart rate and as a result, it can lead to discomfort and fidgeting.

Not Smiling

As most of us already know, smiling is a major indicator of happiness. So when it comes to engaging with that special person in your life, make sure you smile often and also be sure that your better half is also smiling. If a woman is not smiling, it is a good indication that she is unhappy for one reason or another.

Remember, these body language concepts are not fool-proof. There are many other reasons that people make eye contact, fidget, lick their lips, and lean in towards a person. Be sure that you do not rely entirely on these ideas to determine if a woman is into you or if she is not interested. For more lessons on how to tell if a person is being deceitful, check out our class on how to Become a Human Lie Detector.

While it may be easy for a woman to disguise her true feelings through the words that she chooses, it is much more difficult to change the subconscious and alter body language. So by learning these body language hints, you will be better equipped to see the girl, engage her, intrigue her and keep her in the long run! For more hints to understanding body language, check out our courses The Secrets of Body Language and Micro Expressions Training.